Should Your Elderly Parent Live With You

Should Your Elderly Parent Live With You?

There are plenty of options out there when it comes to elder care. Some elders are able to live in their own home, either alone or with some assistance. However, for some, there comes a point where it is no longer safe for them to live alone. At that point, some families look for nursing homes and other forms of assisted living, and some choose to have their parents come and live with them. However, having your parents become your roommates is not the best situation for everyone.

First, think about how your parent’s feel. Some will resist the loss of independence that comes with the move. Others will be unhappy at moving away from neighborhoods and friends that they have called home for several years.

Oftentimes when a parent is ok with the move, the may feel like a burden to the household. Attempts to contribute may be rebuked, money may be refused, or the may have a hard time fitting into the daily routine of the household.

In other cases, tension builds up between parent and child. This can cause depression, misdirected anger, and other negative personality traits to surface. This may cause the parent to feel that they have lost any control over their own lives.

On top of this, many families find it difficult to care for their parents around their already busy schedule. More and more families rely on two incomes to survive, meaning that both adults are gone from the home a significant part of the day. If the parent has a serious medical condition, one family member may have to quit their job, or they may have to consider getting someone to come in during the day. These can cause more financial burdens on the family.

Another option is to move your loved one into an assisted living facility or nursing home. While this once had a bad reputation, a good facility will often be better able to keep your parents comfortable, safe, and happy than you could on your own. Choosing a facility near your home can allow you to make frequent visits to check up on them.

In these centers, your parents can become social with peers their own age. Many centers have a variety of activities and things to do to help keep them active and moving, while at the same time taking care of their needs.

In spite of this, many families still feel that the best place for their parent to live is at home. If that is the case, there are some things that you should consider.

Allow everyone to speak their mind about the situation, and be considerate of everyone’s input and opinions. This includes your parents as well as any children that you have still living at home.

If your elderly one is still self-sufficient to some degree, draw up some family rules and guidelines for everyone to follow. Also look for ways that you can involve your parent in your day to day routines that will actually be a help for you.

Remember to take time for yourself. Many churches and community groups have volunteers that can come and sit with your loved one while you take a few hours to go on a date or do the shopping. Enlist the help of friendly neighbors, and check to see if local facilities have respite rooms available. That way, you can take care of your loved one and still take care of yourself.