Care Giving A Stressful Job

It's an understatement that being a caregiver for an elderly loved one is stressful. And in general, by the time you accept that you are in the role of "primary caregiver," the need to help your elderly parent is already advanced. So you usually have some "catch up work" to do so you can establish some controls over your aging parent's medical situation, finances and lifestyle.

To make the stress of the task more acute, in many cases neither the caregiver or the one being cared for like the job or volunteered for it. The senior citizen receiving the help is often hostile, resistant to the necessary changes that the caregiver must implement and sometimes downright disagreeable. Because this is probably your mom or dad you are taking care of, there are those trained reactions you have to them that when they say what goes, that’s what goes. But now you are the caregiver and they are in the role of the one who must obey. That reversal of roles is hard for both parent and child to get used to.

The stresses come from the elderly senior citizen, from expectations of other siblings and even from your own high set of standards. You may have the attitude that "nothing but the best is good enough for my mommy or daddy." And while that sounds good in a toast, being a caregiver is all about compromise. They may deserve your attention 24/7 but realistically if you can drop by an hour a day and then spend the rest of your day taking care of your job, your kids, your spouse, your housework and, oh yes, yourself, that is probably a reasonable expectation.

So right up front, it's good to recognize that as you settle into the job of primary caregiver for an aging parent, there is going to be an increase in stress in your life. Stress has been identified as one of the big causes of physical and mental health problems for adults. Some stress in life is expected and is good for us. But when stress begins to overwhelm you, you can go through a decline of your own health that is not good for you, the one you are caring for or anyone in your family either.

For family of the caregiver, you have some care giving to do yourselves. That one person is on the forward line of a struggle that really the whole family should be involved with. If you live far from your parent and your brother or sister is doing the careering, be aware of the stress they are under and be supportive. You can do all you can to help out to take some of the stress off. Perhaps you can coordinate with the other distant siblings and relatives to call your parent regularly and take some of the relationship pressure off of the caregiver sibling.

Above all, if you have suggestions for the caregiver, give them in love and without "nagging." That sibling is painfully aware that she is carrying the load for the whole family so communicate your support and gratefulness and that your suggestions are meant only for mom or dads good, not to criticize the hard work your sibling is doing.

But the one person that can do the most to deal with the stress of being a caregiver is you, the caregiver. You have to see taking care of yourself as much a part of the job of taking care of your parent as any of the other duties you do. You are a huge resource to your mom or dad so tackle care of that resource for their sake. If you do, not only will you be a better caregiver, you will live happier and continue taking good care of your family and other responsibilities as well. And that's a healthy approach to care giving and the only approach that will work if the job goes on for a long time.

News About Elderly Care State-funded elderly care 'drop' 15 May 2012 at 5:36pm The number of elderly people in England getting council-funded care has fallen by 11% in the last two years and looks like it will fall further, figures obtained by Labour suggest. Care of elderly to be revolutionised 16 May 2012 at 10:22pm A WATERSHED in the care of the elderly in a Yorkshire city has been agreed as senior politicians warned that the biggest shake-up in the sector in half a century is vital to cope with soaring demand. Elderly care petition could go to Parliament after gaining 130,000 signatures 14 May 2012 at 11:19pm Campaigners for an overhaul of the elderly care system hope to trigger a debate in Parliament after collecting more than 130,000 signatures on a petition to David Cameron. Home based elderly care business set to expand 14 May 2012 at 5:00pm New Zealand?s elderly population is set to double over the next 20 years and Home Instead Senior Care is looking to help these people stay at home for longer by expanding its services in New Zealand. Elderly Care An Enticing Job Option 13 May 2012 at 12:00am Warm weather in Las Vegas and the equally kind hospitality of its residents are what make the city attractive to seniors seeking retirement. Relatively low tax rates and a wealth of entertainment options also are big draws. As new seniors move to the city Number of elderly receiving free home care falls by 11 per cent 16 May 2012 at 1:24am Cuts to social care budgets have been blamed for an 11 per cent fall in the number of vulnerable people who have their care services paid for by their local authority, it was reported. Queen's Speech postpones elderly care funding reform 9 May 2012 at 2:20pm David Cameron has postponed reforms to funding elderly care, prompting concern that millions of pensioners and disabled people will be "condemned to a miserable existence". Labour warns Coalition must act now on elderly care 8 May 2012 at 1:06am Labour is prepared to pull out of cross-party talks on reforming elderly care if the Coalition continues to "kick" the issue "into the long grass", The Daily Telegraph has learnt. Elderly face 'revolving door' hospital care under nursing cuts 13 May 2012 at 11:33pm Elderly patients face a 'revolving door', being shuttled between hospital and home because of cuts to community nursing, the Royal College of Nursing claims today (Mon). NBC-17 Investigates: Elderly Care Concerns - Nursing Home Nightmares 10 May 2012 at 8:15pm A former resident at a 'Special Focus Facility' nursing home speaks out for the first time about the treatment he received. Caregiver Books on Amazon (no title)